Growing up, I heard many times the exclamation “I am the boss” coming from my mother. She was very strict and expected respect and humility. I vividly remember the fear I felt. I obeyed because I was afraid not because I respected her. My opinion was never valid. Fear only worked until I became a teenager. I was not longer scared, and I did many things to make my mother upset. I felt resentment towards my mother.
When I became a mother, I unconsciously began applying my mother’s tactics. I was not sure how to be a different mother, but what I knew is that I wanted my children to respect me out of love, not fear.
I have three children and a wonderful husband. My children are well behaved, smart, and kind. (I’m the mother) raising my children has taught me that children deserve a home where they are valued for who they are.
I wish that I realized sooner that being a mother is the most critical job in the world. There are three things that I think are essential to the success of raising healthy children.
- love and respect them
Children need to know that even though they are young, they deserve love. One way to show our appreciation for them is to listen to their ideas. When children are respected and valued, they have better self-esteem.
I show my love for my children when I cook healthy meals, keep a clean house, help them with their education, play with them, read with them, talk to them. - Parents should be united
Parents must talk about everything regarding raising children. Both parents should set rules and boundaries.
Parents should not be in a power competition. Parents should have weekly council meetings to discuss any rules and children’s concerns. - Take time to be with your husband or wife
I love my children, but I also love my husband. I work diligently in my marriage by taking time away from my children to be with him. Every week we go on a date, its nothing fancy, sometimes we go to a museum, eat ice cream, visit a bookstore or take a walk.
I know my children will grow and make their own life. I know parents that invest so much in their children that when the children grow and move away, the parents experience a strange transition and many divorces.
I am in no way a perfect mother, I don’t like cooking, but I know that I am doing things differently than my mother because I don’t want my children to feel the same way I did.
Marriage 2020 