When I was 22 years old, I met a coworker that slowly became my friend. His affinity for books and arts made me like him even more. Our friendship began to evolve slowly, and he would call me and text at various times, he would invite me to the movies, go to the library. I liked him. One day he asked me to go to the movie theater. We were laughing and having a good time when I found a good friend. She came over, and I introduce them. I will never forget her face, she did not say anything, but I could see the words “What are you doing ? you are married!”. After the movies, I went home and began to think about my relationship with my coworker. I kept thinking, why do I feel guilty? He is just my friend. That night I talked to my husband, and I asked him if he was bothered by my relationship with my coworker, and he responded that he thought I was cheating with him. I was mad. How could he think that about me? I stormed out of the room.
I began to think all the times that I hide my phone because I did not want my husband to see the number of messages my coworker send me. I began crying because I felt something for that coworker. After that night, I decided to talk to my husband and end my relationship with my coworker.
I never allowed myself to be in that position again. I love my husband, and I don’t want to hurt him ever again.
Kenneth Matheson explains: “Emotional infidelity doesn’t usually happen suddenly; rather, it occurs gradually—often imperceptibly at first. This is one reason why those involved often feel innocent of any wrongdoing”.
I always thought that my relationship with my coworker was innocent because I never kissed him or have sexual relations, but I was emotionally attached.
There are many ways you can find if you are emotionally attached:
• You are often thinking about them
• You secretly believe that they are your soul mate
• Mentally compare with a spouse
To avoid emotional attachment :
• Save emotional conversations with your partner
• Set rules and expectations for friends
• Don’t discuss intimate details about marriage
• Don’t complain to your friends about your spouse
• Talk openly to your spouse
• Create space for your spouse
Healthy marriages depend on the compromise on each partner; emotional attachment is emotional cheating because even though it is not physical, your heart and your mind will change and eventually lead to divorce don’t let happen to you.
Marriage 2020 