CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES

I grew up listening to bands like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, I like all type of music, but when my husband begins playing his horrible music I change my mind, and I turn into this intolerable lady.
We don’t drive together, I have my car, but when we go on a family trip, we take his car, and yep you guess it, I have to listen to 4 to 5 hours of just his music. In the beginning, I used to argue with him and tell him that it was not fair to listen to his music. We used to enter in a never-ending argument about fairness and equality.
Over the years, I have learned to fight my battles, and on the road trips, I figure that our arguments will never be satisfied because we have different personalities. Airpods were such a good investment. Our problem only took some humility and acceptance from my part.
Dr. Gottmand explains that “All marital conflicts, ranging from mundane annoyances to all-out wars, really fall into two categories: Either they can be resolved, or they are perpetual, which means that they will be a part of our lives forever.”
In my case, our problem was perpetual because neither my husband nor I were to change our music taste, we have an embedded music taste that will not change.
I can continue with the battle for the rest of our lives. But I chose to be humble and to remember that my husband has the same right as me.
We tend to be eager to judge the other, and we take drastic measures to prove that we are right.
In a Marriage, there has to be compromise and willingness to accept our partners for who they are, when there is pride in our hearts, its challenging to see our problems solved.
The best way to fix an issue is to openly talk about it and have humility and compassion for each other.
We can prove that we are right, but that will bring us a sense of righteousness, and our partners will suffer.
It’s impressive to see that a small change in my attitude could bring me so much peace and enjoy our family trips.